Grand Theft Albo
You're the PM, fresh off a landslide, with a city full of taxpayers and a Cabinet full of ideas. Tax the Bloke, the small business owner and the mum & dad investors. Break your promises, cut deals with the Greens, dodge doorstops and outrun Pauline's surge. Then survive to election night with your two-party preferred intact.
Play Grand Theft Albo
Best with sound on. A full term takes about five minutes, and you can change the game speed from the title screen or the pause menu.
How to rob a nation
It's an arcade game first and a political satire second. Or possibly the other way around.
Tax voters
Walk into anyone with a green ring. Chain grabs together for a streak bonus. Bracket creep does a lot of the work for you.
Bank the loot
Carry it to Treasury, where Jim and the Public Servant are waiting. Get caught by protesters with phone cameras and a quarter gets "leaked to the press".
Break promises
Cabinet decisions unlock juicier taxpayers. The Greens will pass anything in the Senate, as long as you make it worse first.
Survive the election
Keep your two-party preferred above 50%. Watch out for Liberal attack ads, Pauline's preferences and the party room.
Meet the cast
Every character in the cutscenes and on the streets comes from this board.
Allies
- Jim Chalmers, the Treasurer
- Penny Wong, the fixer
- Tanya Plibersek, a levy for everything
- Catherine King, loves a big build
Targets
- The Bloke
- The Small Business Owner
- The Mum & Dad Investor
- The Miner and The Motorist
Antagonists
- The Liberal Opposition, if it can cut through
- Pauline Hanson, signing up your voters
- The Greens, making bills worse
- The Teals, for the greater good
Supporting
- Jodie, a steady hand
- The Nats, guarding the farms
- The Taxpayer Rebellion, peaceful and furious
- The Public Servant and The Media
Inspired by actual events*
The jokes are exaggerated. The policies underneath them are real.
Stage 3, "redesigned"
The legislated cuts would have flattened rates to 30% from $45k to $200k. The redesign kept the 37% bracket, so bracket creep keeps biting.
In the game: The Quiet TaxThe super tax backflip
The $3m super tax planned to hit unrealised gains with an unindexed threshold. It was redesigned to tax realised earnings, with indexed $3m and $10m thresholds.
In the game: The Super Tax SequelNegative gearing and CGT
Negative gearing is now for new builds only, with existing investors grandfathered. From 1 July 2027 the 50% CGT discount becomes indexation with a 30% minimum tax, after a 30 June 2027 valuation.
In the game: The Housing "Reform"$275 off power bills
Labor's pre-election modelling promised household bills would fall by $275 by 2025. 2025 came and went.
In the game: already broken"Not a ute tax"
The new vehicle efficiency standard tightens every year, pushing up the cost of utes and big four-wheel drives.
In the game: The Ute TaxThe clifftop and the lounge
A $4.3 million clifftop home on the Central Coast, and a book about Qantas upgrades and the Chairman's Lounge.
In the game: The Clifftop, Qantas On Line 1*Events have been dramatised. Characters are caricatures. Quotes are invented. The promises were not kept.
Your latest term
Brag about it. Or confess.
Tip: on the game's front page, hit 📰 Save image to attach your result to a post.
The fine print
For entertainment purposes only. Grand Theft Albo is satire: a parody game about public figures and public policy, made for laughs. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by or approved by anyone depicted, any political party, the Australian Government, or Rockstar Games. Characters are caricatures, quotes are invented, and The Daily Taxpayer is not a real newspaper (yet).
About the facts. This game is not based on facts as the Government would tell them. It's based on facts as your power bill, your payslip and your rent would tell them. Where we've rounded up, we've followed official practice and called it "modelling". For the official version, please consult a press release, a 6,000-word essay, or an independent review due sometime after the next election.
Not advice. Nothing here is financial, tax or legal advice. If you're making decisions about negative gearing or capital gains tax, talk to an actual accountant, not a game where Pauline Hanson is chasing you.
No promises were kept in the making of this game.
✔ Fact-checked by your power bill